My rearview mirror

There is always a moment on this journey that it's time to leave. Wherever I am, after a while, whether after three days or four weeks, I feel something in me that suggests to pack my bag and take the first bus to nowhere. Not necessarily because I'm fed up with the people that I'm staying with, or because the place doesn't appeal to me. Moreover, it's a sudden need to change my state from still to action. Also, I always fear that I'm becoming a burden to my hosts after a while and therefore want to leave before any annoyances emerge so to avoid leaving a negative impression. A feeling of incommodity, nervosity, impatience in my veins helps to sense the moment. It happened in Austin after staying 10 days, in San Francisco after three weeks and it is happening now. Today marks the fourth week of my stay in Guadalajara and I more than eager to leave the place. However, the family plays an extra role in this story. Before coming, I cherished a naïve expectation of reuniting with them and happily forget the disputes and disagreements of the past. Of course, that's a pretty stupid thought. Quickly I recalled the wretchedness of a vast family tree. Besides, I noticed how different people we all are and how little they understand my way of life. If it weren't for our bloodlines, I would have absolutely no attachment to them. Only a few truly understand me, or at least try to. I enjoyed seeing back my family, but I have to admit I've had better times on this trip with other, totally unknown people. If it weren't for Alejandra, I would have left much earlier. Now, after this weekend I feel it's necessary to say my goodbye. I've stayed for too long, and I'm starting to do more bad than good. I can't cope with, or better, I don't want to cope with negative vibrations. This traveling mode is starting to fail. I can't stay too long in one place anymore. Firstly, because of my plan of getting to Buenos Aires by the time August hits the bend, secondly because I've learned now that attaching to the people I meet isn't always good. I'm thinking of changing my ways. Roadtripping, bushopping, a different city each night. Truly on the road, not staring at the walls. I'll see whether I keep up the effort. As we all know, life is like a box of chocolates and who knows how tomorrow will look like.

I want to walk the hemisphere
A different city every night
Empty bottles of beer in galore
To follow the flow
See where it takes me
Little time to affectionate
Superficialness is inevitable
Thank you and goodbye
Sorry if I hurt